Soldier Simon gets his marching orders

After a lengthy cooling off period following last night's The Apprentice I am calm. But get me going and I could happily let off steam again, like the volley of expletives I directed at our flat screen last night. Another wrongful sacking and more tomfoolery from the most odious bunch of game players ever to grace reality TV. This week's axed contender, Simon Smith, was the ex-army salt o' the earth grafter. As team leader, his straight talking didn't get support from his team: notably arch villain Alex and gobby Claire. Sir Alan wasn't hoodwinked: he saw what was going on but still gave Simon the boot. Why? Well, there's the small matter of him actually losing money on the task he was given. But it seemed fairly obvious that the chances of making moula were set back massively by his cowardly comrades. Foul play shouldn't be tolerated on this game - I say bring on the firing squad for Alex and Claire.

Miami? Nice!

I am so excited to be just three days away from a holiday in Miami. The nine hour flight is the only blot on an otherwise tropical landscape. Nine hours with a baby on your lap is a real challenge. How do people do it? I usually cope with long flights by self-administering a medicinal G&T or two, watching bad movies and, finally, trying to catch 40 winks. The pain of annoying co-passengers can be soothed by wearing ear plugs (so you can't hear them) and an eye mask (so you can't see them). Then, the only indication that they are there is the odd shunt to the back of your seat or an elbow in your eye socket. This time will be different. Not only will I have to be aware of my surroundings and alert enough to look after my boy, but I will also be worrying whether we are offending other passengers with our shuffling and noise. If I suddenly find myself surrounded by masked people shoving plugs into their ears, I will know the score.

Doherty in jail drugs shocker

The Sun reports the shocking news today that banged-up Pete Doherty is still taking drugs. The Wormwood Scrubs resident is "clucking for" heroin. Front page news? The useless rocker repeatedly makes the headlines for his drug addiction and continual flouting of the law, but when does the "news value" of his sorry situation run out? He is no longer famous by association and his music career is a joke, so why does this junkie deserve column inches? Or blog posts for that matter... 

London calling

After three trips into the Big Smoke in two weeks, I have fallen in love with London all over again. The last time was no whirlwind romance: I lived there for 14 years and loved almost every minute. The buzz, the fashion, the irreverence, the chaos, the humour, people from all countries stuck there like bees clinging to an irresistible honey pot. Down points: the anonymity that feels so refreshing when you arrive can make you feel alone; handbag thieves; burglars; living on the "murder mile"; people in suits that don't give you their seat on the tube no matter how pregnant you are... oh yes, London has lots of foibles. And, just like any great love, there's a moment when passion is dampened by reality:  the equivalent of pants on the floor, socks on the sofa and stubble in the basin... After all, no love is perfect. But, with London and me, absence has definitely made the heart grow fonder.

Britz don't have spelling skillz

Can you spell "questionnaire"? If you can't, you're in good company -- neither can 40% of British adults. A survey today reveals that many adults are stumped when asked to spell everyday words, with "accommodate" and "definitely" being among the most perplexing. Some blame dependency on text and email for their inability to spell and one in ten do not think accurate spelling is important. How does this bode for the evolution of our language? If parents can't be bothered to spell, will children inherit a mutant language in which abbreviation is the norm? If u can't w8 to find out what the English of the future will sound like, a feature in the New Scientist might give you a clue. "English as she will be spoke" by Michael Erard asks how our language will sound in 500 years. Erard explains, "What seems certain is that new words will form, meanings will migrate, and obsolete words will die out. These are the facts of life for any language." He adds, "The future depends heavily on where influences are coming from. For the foreseeable future, the most dramatic change will be made by people learning English as a second language."  He says a new global form of English is developing, labelled "Globish". Whether you look with horror on the development of our language, or embrace the change, it seems a new era of the English language is upon us. Still, there's no excuse for bad spelling  is there?

Three cheers for bumper days

Bumper days are days when everything is just peachy. The opposite to those 24-hour sequences where bad luck slaps you in the face and stabs you in the back. When you feel like Jack Bauer struggling against adversity just to survive the day. Bumper days are the flip-side: life resembles a triumphant Monopoly game, where all the Chance and Community Chest cards are stacked in your favour. Today I'm having one!  Two new clients, some fun jobs in the pipeline AND the sun is shining.  Better stop congratulating myself and get climbing my mountain of work.  Only then can I pass "Go" and collect my reward.  

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Is Alan Sugar Mr Fix It?

Alan Sugar, you're fired!  The Apprentice star should be given the boot for his decision to be Mr Entertainment rather than this usual straight-talking, ball-busting self.  How could he let vindictive bully Jenny stay, while organised Shazia gets the boot?  Type casting plays a part -- Jenny is being groomed/edited into a "Katie-alike", modelled on fork-tongued Katie Hopkins, the posh predator of the last series.  Sad that the series has to resort to culling less watchable characters who might make worthy apprentices given half the chance.  The credibility of the show seems doubtful after this ratings-led firing.  As an Apprentice addict, my viewership is hanging by a thread... until 9pm next week when no-doubt cold turkey will get the better of me.

Depression? How depressing!

I can only remember the boom days so it shakes me to the core to hear how the US's economic crisis is deepening.  And it's not the Fat Cats that are getting thinner, but folks who were treading a financial tight rope anyway.  The latest pinch -- parting many homeowners from their homes and many grafters from their jobs -- means that putting food on the table is becoming a challenge for increasing numbers.  The Independent reports that, in the fiscal year starting October, 28 million people in the US will be using government food stamps to buy their groceries, the most since the 60s.  There has been a huge increase in the application for food stamps across 40 states of the richest country on earth.  So how does this bode for us in Blighty?  No one knows for sure... On the upside, if anyone needs a motive to beat the work blues this could be it.  As long as we have a job, we should be galloping to work with joy, banking our pay cheques with glee and thanking our lucky stars we haven't got anything to be too depressed about (yet).