I confess that, as I scan the pages of magazines and newspapers, I critique everything I read. Either "This sucks, I could do way better" or "Oh my god, this writer is brilliant, nay God-like, and I am an illiterate fool by comparison". In the "This sucks" camp, I have the biggest beef with writers that churn out hackneyed phrase upon irritating cliche. So, I decided to put together a list of the worst offenders:
- Check! Commonly found on the pages of fashion rags, as writers fawn over the way a particular celebrity has been dressed by their stylist. As in, "Gasp. Just look how Agyness Deyn rocks this look. Comedy sunglasses. Check. Ludicrous ensemble. Check."
- Channeling. Another fashion page faux-pas. As in "This winter, we'll be channeling Ali McGraw's look from Love Story."
- Fashionista/Fash Factor. Eurgh. Nothing more to add here.
- ...On acid. As in "This film is like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...on acid!". No, no, and thrice no!
- That. A form of emphasis that smugly refers to a previous headline-hitting moment. As in "That dress" used ad nauseam to describe the dress Liz Hurley wore to steal the show from her then boyfriend Hugh Grant on the red carpet.
- Black + any day of the week that heaps unprecedented horrors upon the economy. As in "Black Monday". At the moment each 24-hours brings new calamity. We should stop trying to label the milestone days that define the economic crisis.
- Credit Crunch. Enough already. The phrase was coined to describe a very specific problem in the banking sector -- now it is used widely to describe the global economic breakdown. And press releases are loving this phrase as a "topical hook".
- The new... As in "Carla Bruni is the new Princess Diana" or "Purple is the new black".
- Sooo. So is a two-letter word, so don't mess.
- ? As in "The end for Brangelina?" -- i.e. the arse-covering punctuation mark at the end of the attention-grabbing headline of a featherweight celeb feature based on flimsy speculation.
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